I have a problem. Some might not consider it a problem, but my parents would beg to differ. I'm a proactive hoarder. Whew glad we got that out. What that means is I actually am scared of hoarding. Not scared in the "OMG! A SPIDER" but scared in that I don't ever want to become one. Therefore I take certain precautionary measures in my life to make sure that this does not happen. Whenever something traumatic happens in my life, some type of significant change, I clean house. Literally. Out with the old and in with the new. I scour every corner just as I'm am scouring the corners of my life and rid not only my house but my life of junk. It is a very freeing and cleansing feeling to let go. To let go of all the crud you have been holding onto. You don't realize how toxic it makes your life to hold onto all those built up emotions for so long, until your free. My parents are seeing first hand what this looks like at the moment. For the past couple of months I have had a lot of significant changes happen in my life. I moved from Athens, GA back home to Lyman, SC. After 5 years of working and connecting and really making Athens my home, I moved away from it all. I have never cried so much in my life as I did on that drive home. The days that followed were just as hard. I was constantly reminded of what I left behind. I actually didn't get out of bed or off the couch much that first week except to go to work. At the drop of hat I would burst into tears and the pain I felt was unbearable. To make matters worse a very important relationship ended in my life the same week I moved home. I loved him very much (and still do) and although there are a lot of fuzzy areas in the details of what happened the worst part was I lost my best friend. Three years is a long time to invest in someone and while we weren't together for the whole 3 years, we had a great and fun friendship. I could spend all day on the "what ifs" and "I'm sorry," "I take it back," but what's past is passed. I have many great memories of Athens and many great memories with him. I wouldn't change any of them for the world. Upon returning to Athens this past weekend, it was bittersweet. I was blessed to see so many people that I love, including him. It truly was great to see everyone. But in a way it was closure for me. Closure of that chapter of my life and the start of the next. The move had been so abrupt I never really got to say goodbye to a lot of the people I love. You know the long emotional goodbye where it takes hours to leave. I got that this past weekend. The drive from Athens to Lyman was refreshing and much needed time with God. Time to reflect on everything that had happened that weekend and the months prior. I thought of everyone and every situation I had encountered. (One of the perks of being a psych major.)
One greeting that stood out over the crowd was that of Noah Rafal. If you know me or anything about me then you know who Noah is. I was waiting for the Rafals to arrive to get ice cream. Noah came running up and said, " 'Member Me?" to which I replied "OF COURSE!" I will always remember. I will always remember the people, the memories, the fun, and the friendships I shared. They are always with me everywhere I go. Upon pulling into the driveway, it was like a breath of fresh air. I was no longer shackled by hurt or pain. It was in God's hands and I knew what I had to do. So I started cleaning out the house. Junk Junk Junk! All of it goes. Today is a new day and there is no use storing up the old clutter of yesteryear. Its time to look towards the future and what the Lord has in store. I'm excited to see His plans for my life and I will continue to pursue Him in everything I do!
