I want to say something catchy...something inspirational...something that will stay with people forever...or at least for a little while. My mind is blank. As always. So I guess you'll just have to settle for the crazy things that occur in my life. The other day I was informed by my roommate that I apparently am a "great" storyteller. I am not sure how valid this statement is because I have never been on the other side of myself to hear my stories. However, there was once a young lad in high school that told me my family should write a book about the crazy things that happen to us. These moments do not just happen to me...they happen to the whole Patterson clan. Specifically my dad. (maybe I inherited it). Okay, okay. I am headed towards the stories.
So this is the story that I told the other day. Everything I am about to type is in fact real and did happen. Prepare yourself.
As most people know, my father is a contractor. Meaning he builds houses and the like. He does a lot of the work himself with just a few guys that help him (help is a light word. These guys work their bums off). One day dad was working on the job site trying to finish pouring and smoothing the concrete for the foundation. His goal was to be able to start building the next day. He has this little machine that rotates round and round on top of the wet concrete. The finish product is smooth concrete. On this particular day, however, there was one spot that just would not lay down. The spot was a bubble that after many times of trying to smooth it out, dad gave up. He decided that something was causing this bubble in his concrete and he was going to dig it up and find out what it was. Now knowing my father, his emotional and psychological thoughts at this point were most likely anger. He was angry he was going to be behind on the project, angry he had to dig up his smooth concrete he had just spent hours smoothing over, and angry he was going to have to fix this stupid spot. But dad had no idea how his emotions were about to change. He began digging and after a couple of minutes pulled out....
It is here where I would pause for a dramatic commercial break if I were a tv show. Or maybe just quit telling the story....it's not like you're interested or anything. I could just go on with my life and be perfectly content and you would pretend that you didn't care about what was in the concrete. Just filed away in the back of your mind never to brought up again. But secretly it would be eating at you...tearing up you amygdala and your prefrontal cortex. Pretty gruesome right? But not as gruesome as what was found.
.....A HUMAN TOE! If you are wondering whether you read that correctly because you may have forgotten what we are talking about. Yes, dad pulled a human toe out his concrete. ....um GROSS! Let's assess my dad's psychological and emotional well being at this moment. There's a little bit of humor ( wondering if this is a joke), a lot of confusion, and a lot of questions now. My question to the readers out there now is what would you have done at this point in this situation? Laughed and gone on about your day? Not known how to respond? Well in the Patterson family, we call people. We get answers. So this next section is the phone conversation to the concrete company to find out where the toe came from.
Ring, ring, ring
Secretary: Hello, this is ****** ******* what can I do for you?
Dad: My name is Mark Patterson and I had some concrete delivered this morning and well there was something very strange found in it?
S: Well Mr. Patterson can you describe what you found?
D: The best way to describe it to you ma'am is ...well... It looks like a toe.
S: A TOE! Sir are you sure? Is this a joke?
D: No ma'am this is no joke ( a small chuckle). Has anyone up there at the plant lost a toe?
S: (lot of laughter in the background is heard now) Mr. Patterson I am not sure if anyone has or hasn't do you mind if I call you back I need to call down to the manager and ask him.
D: No that is fine. You have my number.
Click
A few minutes later.
Ring, ring, ring.
D: Hello?
S: Hello Mr. Patterson I'm calling about your concrete and the uh toe you found.
D: ( chuckles) yes what did you find out?
S: Well sir, one of our mixers had his thumb smashed off in the machine the other day and they couldn't find his thumb. Does it look like it could be a thumb Mr. Patterson?
D: well it would be a very fat thumb, but yea I guess it could be a thumb. Does he want it back?
S: (laughing so hard she can barely be understood)... No sir thats quite all right. You can keep it for a souvenir.
D: ( now laughing too) thanks I appreciate that. Have a good day.
Even the bumps in life can have humor underneath them.
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